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allie

The bright side to being a God found mess


MESS noun

a situation or state of affairs that is confused or full of difficulties.


I'm not sure about you, but this has adequately defined my life a time or two. I've gotten myself into messy situations so defined by drama that I've prayed for the curtain to drop on multiple occasions. End scene. No standing ovation. No bow. Just run out of the theater as fast as you can and hope no one was watching.


The beautiful irony of life is that those messy situations have paved the way for the most awe inspiring moments of bliss. When the lighting is just right, the people all playing their roles perfectly, the plot sublime. My wedding day still feels like one of those "it may never be this perfect again" moments. Just like a movie, all my family and friends danced like we were kids till the moon came up. My grandparents were still alive and the night was perfect. I didn't have Instagram then but if I did, the reel would be worth a million likes in my mind.


It's effortless to accept those cinematic moments of perfection in life. They breathe life into my soul. But the cringe worthy dramas? The messes that I'm embarrassed to say were caused by me? Not so easy to accept.


Enter God. Stage right. . .


GOD noun

the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority; the supreme being.


As creator of the universe, God has seen everything. Every mess and every blissful moment. And he is working it ALL together for his ultimate glory. It's us who seem to have a vision for him dependent upon our circumstances. Like, if things are going well, it's easy to see him and believe he is good. And if things are bad, our eyes get blurry and God becomes more of an intangible blob. We can grow uncertain of him and his plan.

I believe in God. There is no doubt in my mind that he exists and that the Bible is his word. But it wasn't always this way. During the messy times in my life, doubts swirled and confused my mind. When the world is confusing and the circumstances overwhelming, we can doubt God. And his Word. If you're anything like me, then you totally understand asking, "Where is God in this mess?"


It's pretty safe to say the state of the world right now is confusing and difficult. It's a mess. I wish the only mess I could see is the heap of laundry waiting to be folded on my bed. But if I'm being honest, I've got some internal messes that could use some cleaning up. Work is crazy. My teenager and tweenager have me pining for innocence lost. I miss my dead dog and my mother may be battling dementia. Mess.


If you're reading this and you are human, my bet is you can identify some mess in your own life. Whether it's a literal pile of dishes in the sink or a brain that can't remember what day it is because stress is eating you alive, we all have mess.


Thankfully, there is a God. And his precise purpose as ruler of the universe is to find and save you, the child he created and loves.


FOUND adjective

having been discovered by chance or unexpectedly.


Luke 19:10 says, "For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."

God is seeking us. No matter how big our mess, or how much we are not seeking Him, He is on the hunt for us.


In my early 20's, mess perfectly defined my life. My heart, mind, and actions; all of me was a mess. To be fair, I had a few pretty good excuses. I was young. My brain wasn't completely done wiring yet (that happens around the age of 25). And I was trying to sort out an intense trauma. A good friend had been murdered when I was 19. The shock and sadness were too much for me to process on my own. Like so many young people, I turned to alcohol and spending my free time with other messy people. That's when my brain really went on the fritz. So, as you would suspect, the mix of an unfinished brain, trauma, grief, and partying, led to a confused mess.


My faith wasn't the problem. I had believed in God since 6 years old. In high school I was the non-drinking virgin girl. The problem was the intense grief and horrible consequences of my sinful choices swirled together creating a muddy mess that quite frankly I was sinking into. I wasn't actively pursuing the God I believed in. Wasn't reading my Bible. Wasn't going to church. Wasn't spending time with other believers. I focused on the mess more than the miracles I knew to be true.


Then I hit rock bottom. And was found.


The trick to being found by God is that you have to be willing to take your eyes off of the mess and look at Jesus. Remember that He came to save you. Believe that He doesn't judge you. Know with all your heart that His grace is for you. You have to choose to let Him unexpectedly find you. Refocus your attention so the blurry blob you're avoiding can reach down and wipe away the mess.


That's what I did at 26 when I checked myself into rehab. I chose grace over misguided grieving. I confessed my sins and turned from them. I chose biblical truth over worldly ways. I got therapy, found Christian community, reconnected with family, accepted accountability, and found freedom. Above all, I got into the Word of God. The Bible became my daily bread. I eventually went to Seminary and got my degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and Biblical Studies.


Why am I sharing all of this instead of folding the pile of laundry on my bed? Because when life is confusing, or full of difficulties, we must choose God. We must encourage one another in the faith. And sometimes the best way out of a current mess is to stop and thank God for getting you out of ones in the past. Remember the wedding day I recall so fondly? I literally wouldn't have met my husband if I'd never changed course in my 20's. From mess to miracle.


Wherever you find yourself today, whether recalling fond memories or begging God to drop the curtain on your current nightmare, know that Jesus came to save you. Grace is for you. Mess isn't the end. It's the precursor to a million miracles this side of heaven. So take your eyes off the mess, look at Jesus, and boldly have faith to follow Him.


Choose to be a God found mess.







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1 comentario


erinmay1280
03 sept

Love this so much!! ❤️

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